What the hell do you do with 48 Creme Eggs?

‘We choose to buy 48 Creme Eggs in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard’ – JFK.

Now, firstly, it’s a CREME-PRONOUNCED-CREAM-EGG. Let’s not even get onto that controversy.

So, on Facebook I follow a deal group because who doesn’t love cheap stuff? It said that on Amazon there was a deal- 48 Creme Eggs for £15.00. Normally I would ignore deals like this but it got me curious- what eggsactly (see what I did there?) could you make with 48 Creme Eggs?

So, I did what any millennial would do and asked the internet, yes the very same people responsible for Boaty McBoatface and the flat earth theory, and I shall be testing and documenting the responses and results.

Suggestion one- the Creme Egg Toastie

  • White bread slices (2)
  • Butter
  • A cream egg sliced in half
  • A toastie machine, obvs

Method

I’m not going to teach your grandmother to suck eggs, you make a toastie with the above mentioned ingredients.

It smells REVOLTING whilst it toasts, like burnt chocolate, and because of the fondant it does not toast well and is still flabby and white after the first round of toasting, so it endured two rounds.

Outcome

Absolutely gross. To get the bread to toast properly the chocolate had to burn slightly, and the fondant turned into some form of tooth adhesive. It was sickly sweet, think fried mars bar but even less classy.

1/10

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Dior Air Flash Review

diorYou know those canisters of spray paint used for childhood mischief, painting figurines, or colouring dings  on cars that have seen far better days? That but it’s for your face.

The product can be used as a stand alone foundation or on top of another foundation ‘to make it look airbrushed’… I decided in the name of science and in the hope of speeding up my make-up routine, to give it a bash. It retails in most department stores for £34.00 so is on the higher end of the cosmetic spectrum.

First Impressions:

As is standard with Dior, the packaging was very sleek and stylish. The canister itself seems generous, holding 70ml as opposed to the standard 30ml foundation size. I’m not sure how this translates in terms of the difference between aerosol and liquid.

Use:

Insofar as ‘user friendliness’ I suspect it’s much easier to spray it onto a buffing brush and then apply onto your face in circular motions- but where is the fun in that? I sprayed it onto my face as though my face was a beaten up Vauxhall Nova. Good coverage; too good in fact. I covered my face, neck (no foundation lines- bonus!) torso, and hair in a liberal shade of pale. For the ten seconds it took me to apply, yes, it was fantastic and only needed to be blended a bit around my eyes and nose… But it was a right bugger to meticulously remove from my hair, ears, etc.

Overall:

I think if sprayed onto your face you lose a lot of product which is possibly why it is larger than a standard foundation.  It has good coverage,sat really well, and remained nice all day even in wind and rain as my other Dior foundations do, and was pretty much the same price. It’s a good product and not just for the novelty of it being a spray. On balance, I’d rather stick with normal liquid foundation as it turns out to be less effort but I shall keep this to use to ‘finish’ other foundations to give them an airbrushed glow.

7/10

 

Toffee Apples

 

 

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It’s Autumn and in the shops are the sickly-sweet red toffee apples. A sticky, cellophane-wrapped Bonfire Night treat for many, but retailing often north of £1.00 a piece, are they worth it?

This simple, fast, recipe makes the perfect toffee apples, for about £0.25p a piece using mainly store cupboard ingredients.

Sadly, I cannot offer an answer as to how the ones from the shop or carnivals are red, one assumes food colouring but to be honest that doesn’t add much.

Although not healthy by any stretch of the imagination, these are vegetarian, vegan, gluten and nut free. They would make nice presents wrapped in cellophane and ribbon and last up to four days.

Ingredients:

  • 400g golden caster sugar
  • 100ml cold water
  • 4 tablespoons golden syrup
  • 6-8 Granny Smith or Russett apples
  • tiny bit of apple cider vinegar (less than a teaspoon)
  • Lollipop sticks

 

Method:

  1.  Place a heavy-bottomed pan on a medium heat, add the sugar and water and stir occasionally- this will take about 7/8 minutes.
  2. Whilst the sugar and water is cooking, blanch the apples in water from the kettle. When the waxy coating on the apple appears to have gone remove them from the water, twist out the stalk and put a lollipop stick in the stalk end of each apple
  3. Stir in the vinegar and golden syrup to the sugar mixture in the pan.
  4. Leave to thicken, stirring occasionally.
  5. Carefully pour the toffee over the apples and place them on greaseproof paper that is also slightly oiled to set.

If lollipop sticks are an issue, the caramel mixture can be added to chopped apples to make a nice base for an apple pie.  Another tasty trick is coating peeled bananas in toffee and allowing them to set as the base for a retro but non-traditional banana split.

 

Blue Whale Challenge is ‘cleansing society’

I have previously written about the Blue Whale Challenge and you can find the original post further down this blog. This is an update post.

Twenty-one-year-old Philipp Budeikin is remanded in custody in Russia pending trial about his founding of sick social media craze ‘The Blue Whale Challenge’. This ‘competition’ sees participants complete forty-nine days of self-harming (ranging from watching execution videos to cutting themselves) which are all sent to an online ‘curator’ to prove that they did it. The fiftieth day of the game encourages the participant to ‘jump from a high building, killing yourself’ although other methods of suicide are allowed. The game began in 2013 but has only been common knowledge since 2016 after a spate of suicides in Russia were linked to it.

Budeikin is to go on to be sentenced for inciting numerous teenagers across Russia to take their own lives by means of competing in this craze. He has confessed to concocting this game and said ‘ There are people – and there is biological waste. Those who do not represent any value for society. Who cause or will cause only harm to society. I was cleaning our society of such people’, referring to the children who have sadly died.

The game is not one a youth of a ‘normal’ constitution would play except for perhaps in a peer pressure context. It would appear to have been thought out to encourage those already struggling with depression and other mental health issues. The participants of the game seem to be generally teens who complain online of loneliness, isolation, and a lack of love from their families. It would seem Budeikin targeted said youngsters to be caught up in his craze, and knew his audience. In essence, it is giving those who may perhaps have felt low but not had the ‘courage’ to harm themselves or take their life a negative sort of support in order to encourage such behaviour. Budeikin stated that his Blue Whale Curators were not destructive, and rather were making the children ‘die happy’ after giving them the ‘warmth, understanding, and connections’ that they lacked in their real lives. Anton Breido, from the Investigative Committee has conceded that Budeikin ‘very clearly knew what he had to do’ to get the following that he so wanted and further his aims.

After humble beginnings in the deep dark corners of the internet four years ago, Budeikin has had the chance to make his game even more devious, and work out how to market it. At first, the game included killing animals and participants cutting through their own veins. The game as it presently is mixes up psychedelic and horror videos with varying degrees of self-mutilation until the participants end their life to ‘win’. His ‘curators’ target depressed and vulnerable teenagers on social media sites such as VK, Twitter, and Instagram. The ‘curators’ carefully pick easily manipulated victims and know how to spot these online.

Despite his wicked actions he is being inundated with letters from lovelorn teenagers sent to Kresty Prison, St Petersburg for his attention. In some circles, he has reached cult-like levels of veneration previously seen by the likes of Charles Manson. Young girls especially have claimed in the post that they love him. As a policy, Russian prisons allow these letters to reach Budeikin and cannot prevent his receiving of them so long as they do not contain any prohibited items.

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Budeikin, picture credit: Vkontakte/east 2 west

 

Surprising samples 

Have you ever heard a song and thought ‘I recognise that from somewhere’ or ‘what the hell is that?’. Welcome to sampling: taking part of an existing piece of music and fitting it into a new piece of music as a catchy hook.

 

Stevie Nicks- Edge of Seventeen = Destiny’s Child- Bootylicious.

Ponderosa Twins Plus One- Bound = Kanye West- Bound 2 


Toto- Africa = Ja Rule- Murder Reigns


Bruce Hornsby and The Range=  2Pac- Changes


John Lennon- Imagine = Oasis- Don’t Look Back in Anger


JFK- Moon speech = Public Service Broadcasting- Race For Space

The Clash- Straight To Hell = M.I.A- Paper Planes


The Andrew Oldham Orchestra- The Last Time= The Verve- Bitter Sweet Symphony


The Kinks- You Really Got Me- Salt-N-Pepa- Push It